MrMaxwell

You know,
Lita has been gone about a month now,
Not many women around here are "into" spanking..
I know that there are a-lot of female "bottoms" in Wichita just dying to be spanked, right, butt I feel like, fuck them I am not going to go and do that for free.

LoL over here.

The funny thing is, I know that Lita hasn't allowed anyone to spank her since we've been apart. And I know she needs it, badly.. she's probably running around driving drunk, staying out too late, creating a budgeting crisis and god knows what else. Sigh.

I really care for her. There was something extremely close about the domestic discipline relationship. Moments like, when I would comfort her after spanking her, and she would cleave to me and thank me.. Those just aren't easily forgotten.

She won't talk to me and for good reason..
But she's definitely cutting off the nose of her to spite her own face.
I know what her life was like before knowing me, and where she is headed.

I don't really want to be with her, any more... But I still care and deeply. I just hope that she's enjoying some dirty nasty fucking like she loves so much.. and not naively trusting them to be disease free.. I worry, so damned much

The kids, man, when I think about them and how they would light up when I stopped by.... man.. a real slug to the gut .. ouch .. .

Interesting chapter of my life, this year, this whole year has been.. I've done some of the scariest shit of my life, gained, lost, so much... It's just surreal!

I have access to a couple of women I know from the old days, I never have to LOOK for a woman, I can go and enjoy good wet sex and blowjobs any time I like. . But I'm just spending my time by myself, and it feels good, you know?

Shrug..



[/vent]