I really would like to be there in Thailand, please more pics
.
To your qestion, I think it's possible to change yourself, the problem is that you have to realize you are an idiot.
Remember some bad decisions you made than think about it to react in another way next time when something similar happens.
(some psychedelic things are helping too.. maybe
)
When I look at the pictures I would say you did the best someone could, don't worry
