JUDGE: Bailiff, what is the next case?
BAILIFF: Shoehorn vs Dirty D, involving PPC with no TOS.
JUDGE: FTW? What brings you here Mr...um, Shoehorn?
SHOEHORN: One of the lawyers on Go Fuck Yourself suggested I could recover the money Dirty D refuses to pay me in small claims court.
JUDGE: Did you just tell me to Go Fuck Myself?!? I hereby find you in contempt of court, and fine you $470.
What does the defendant have to say for himself?
DIRTY D: Affiliates may not use the term Crackwhore Confessions in PPC campaigns to send sells to my site which depicts desperate drug addicted prostitutes being humiliated and degraded. I should be the only one allowed to make money off of this form of exploitation.
JUDGE: Is that in your Terms of Service?
DIRTY D: Well, no, but it's my program, so I can impose arbitrary rules whenever I want to.
JUDGE: That's not the way it works in my courthouse. Wait a minute, you look familiar, do you have any priors?
DIRTY D: I was arrested a few times for oral sex and jerking off at an adult theater, but I can explain - that was...er, um..."research".
JUDGE: I hereby fine you $470. Bailiff, get these filthy scum out of my courtroom, NOW!!!
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ADG