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Melissa, I still think you are a fake nick, so I'm not going to give the long answer on this, but here are a few points.
#1. I can succeed without others failing.
#2. Specifically, in online adult, I make more money if I can sell my sites and also upsell "competitor" sites. Companies which take an overly competitive stance leave affiliate money on the table, both coming and going.
#3. Where do you get the idea that adult is somehow more cutthroat than business in general?
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