Called support, vented a little.
Said I've had terrible speeds for 4 weeks, am I on a lemon?
Support said to be expected on shared host.
I said well, I'm not expecting lighting fast speeds, but after the worst experience of any shared host ever, I'm still hoping I'm on a lemon, and all will be fixed by moving server?
Support said, the same could happen on another server?
I said, so you recommend I cancel now?
Anyway, requested server move via support ticket.
Fingers crossed I picked the short straw and all will be fine from here!