Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

addiction and/or addictive behaviors are a symptom of other emotional/psychological issues and have little to nothing to do with the actual substance/thing that's being abused. you don't make a choice to be raped by a parent and struggle with the emotional consequences. you don't make a choice to watch your child die. you don't make a choice to experience the trauma which, for many will lead to addiction... and you certainly will usually have little to no awareness of the fact that you actually have a substance abuse problem until very late in the game.

kinda curious why its so personal to you. sounds like something has happened a little close to home that you're having trouble dealing with yourself. its left you angry with a lot of unresolved feelings and emotions on the matter. a lot of blame. it would be a good guess that your father was an alcoholic that was never there for you