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Originally Posted by fmltube
There are a lot of people in this world who have suffered abuse or led a difficult life. They all did not turn to drugs or alcohol, or even porn if you believe the media sensationalism. You are making the argument that behavior is dependent on environment and frankly, that's a cop out addicts use. Its the same song and dance when people say girls in porn must have been molested when they were younger.
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no... i was simply stating that its not "a choice" if you have no conscious awareness of the choice you are making. everyone believes they are in full control until they bottom out. simple as that.
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My 3rd year in college, I started dating a guy who drank all the time and blamed his behavior on his drinking. One night he was drunk and tried to rape me so I grabbed his balls and squeezed as hard as I could until one of them popped and I could get away. I filed attempted rape charges against him and he sat there in the court room and told the judge "I'm a really great guy and everyone loves me but I should not be punished for what happens when I am drunk." Judge ripped him apart and gave him 2 years.
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see... i was right. your father was an alcoholic... hence, your relationship choices. you sought out someone just like your father. someone who drank all the time, was probably emotionally and physically abusive to some degree and was barely in control of himself.
an alcoholic.
relationships are a "choice" and that "choice" is almost always, without exception, to recreate that familiar pattern that you witnessed and experienced growing up - particularly in early relationships.
relationships almost without exception, are a reflection of who you are and whats right or wrong with you and what went right or wrong in your childhood... you found a volitile relationship with an addict, and just like an addict, you had all sorts of ways of rationalizing why he was a good guy and why it was going to work... and it took an attempted rape (the emotional equivalent of an addict bottoming out) to realize you were fucking up your life.
alcohol does not make anyone do anything. alcohol simply reveals who and what we are... whats behind the mask.
... but you were in a relationship with that guy... so you already knew what was behind the mask. in fact, you knew before you met him because you were subconsciously seeking out that exact personality.