Don't cut so often, move slower and less (try using a mono pod) too much close ups and don't shoot a girl in a white dress against a white wall until you learn how to light it.
Supply a client with unedited raw footage but keep a copy until he pays.. Don't use copyright music.
OK you've had the technical hints, here's some porn comments.
The beginning of the first sequence is too long. Climax weak and spend more on the girls panties. Basically it did not give me wood.
Aaron you connection sucks.
