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i dont know if i want to stick my dick in a hoover hand vac with 2 treadmills. kind of looks like a epilady on steroids.
where is the disclaimer? do not look at yourself in the mirror while using the real touch (or reality check). it may cause depression and suicidal tendencies when you realize you just fucked a toaster. how desperate have we become?
when i want something different i just use my left hand and my beat-off machine is conveniently attached to my arm. and it's funny, hands have a million uses, including tight grip for tight pussies and loose grips for hotdog in a hallway pussies.
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