Dear Lord, you took my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze. You took my favorite actress, Farah Fawcett. You took my favorite singer, Michael Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that my favorite President is Barack Obama. Amen.
If John McCain was a Maverick, then Barack Obama is a GMC* Pacer. (*Government Motor Company)
Obama has ordered that the term "Islamic Radicalism" be removed from national security documents. It's being replaced with "Allahu Akbar!"
Barack got his ObamaCare votes the old fashioned way. He bought 'em.
The Obama economy utilizes a system of carefully monitored checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balance.
Obama is looking forward to retirement, so that he'll finally have the time to actually read his new healthcare law.
Everyone who believes that ObamaCare will work is entitled to free psychological help.
Q. Why is the healthcare plan called ObamaCare instead of ObamaCares?
A. Because he doesn't.
Q. Why is the healthcare plan called ObamaCare when he is exempt from it?
A. Shaddup.
ObamaCare will provide taxpayers with plenty of bitter pills.
Obama just gave America a trillion dollar budget deficit. Let's hope he never learns that there are numbers that come after a trillion.
Q. If the Obama administration was a football division, what would the teams be called?
A. The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers and the Lyings.
President Obama has responded to our national debt spiralling out of control by calling for the creation of a Deficit Commission to find solutions to the problem. Coulter suggests The Deficit Commission's first recommendation should be "resign immediately Mr. President."