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Amp - I'm glad you seem to have figured out what is going on in your head. In a way it does make sense and like you yourself admit, the drinking wasn't helping. I hate the idea of needing to be medicated on a daily basis just to live a 'normal' life but we all gotta do what we gotta do. Myself, I've been taking one form of anti-histamine or decongestant almost every day for the last 20 years. I fucking HATE it but without them my life would be one long nose blowing session. I know my problem isn't in the same league as your mental stuff but I just want you to know that you aren't alone. There are millions of people in the world that live in a semi-medicated state. I'm not talking about junkies, but the normal everyday people who need some form of medication daily to keep themselves in the groove. I wish we could all make herbal medicines work but our bodies are too corrupted from years of chemicals.
I've rambled on long enough. If you are bi-polar, there are drugs out there that if taken on schedule can keep you from doing the extreme things you hate yourself for in the morning. Do what you have to do to get your life back dude. We love you and your talent is far too great to be lost to this chemical imbalance.
Liz
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