Originally Posted by PenisFace

If I have to fart while beating off, I stop beaint off, lose my hardon, and go and take a shit. Then after a nice 20 minute shit, I go and beat off for 20 minutes. Stop, start, stop start. That way when you finally blow, you feel like peter north. Only instead of busting all over a hot porn sluts face, you are busting on a towel you just threw on the floor.

Then I cry myself to sleep.