Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only have one?
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It goes back to the creation of the first televisions. They were boxes that held a "set" of vacuum tubes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
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Wool shrinks in hot water. Rain is not hot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
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Carpool
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If you're driving at the speed of light and turn on your headlights, what happens?
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It is impossible for anything but light to travel at the speed of light. Moot question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
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Profit
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
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No.
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
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"Interstate" is a class of road that must meet certain criteria, such as controlled access.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
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Expense & practicality
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drive and drink?
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To prove your age
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Most packages say "open here," but what is the protocol if it says "open somewhere else?"
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I would need a sample package to fully determine this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
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Language quirk
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If con is opposite of pro, is Congress opposite of Progress?
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No. Language quirk.
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
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Parkways are for moving traffic. Driveways are entrances to garages and sometimes for parked vehicles.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If money doesn't grow on trees, why do bank have branches?
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Corporate structure terminology.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do we say, "slept like a baby," when babies wake up every hour and a half?
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Babies have no concerns other than eating, drinking, shitting and sleeping. The phrase is used to express a restful night without anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do we say alarm clocks "go off" when they start making noise?
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The alarm portion of the clock is "going off" according to it's settings. Perfectly acceptable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do they call it 'quicksand' when it sucks you down so slowly?
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Sand is a component, and it "quickly" kills you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
When French people swear, do they say, "Pardon my English?"
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No
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the earth off its axis?
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No. The world's populations are spread across the globe. If everyone lost 5 pounds simultaneously, the only thing that would change is everyone would be 5 pounds less.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
What color hair do bald men put on their driver's licenses?
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Whatever the DMV tells them to put.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
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When they are out of tune.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
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They require more practice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do we "quiet down" before we can listen up?
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To assimilate auditory information properly without extraneous irrelevancies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do we press the remote control harder when we know the batteries are getting weak?
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Some people may feel the remote itself is malfunctioning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do bank charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
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Profit
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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This is an unfounded absolute. Not everyone believes or disbelieves either one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
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It does. Most of the glue will stay fluid however, due to lack of oxygen in the bottle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
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To protect the operators in the event of an accidental needle prick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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The author didn't include one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why does superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Writer's preference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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To protect against head injury while they attempt to accomplish their mission.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word, "lisp?"
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The creator of the word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
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Not all apes evolved simultaneously. There wasn't one large single tribe of apes, there were many spread out over the globe. Some evolved, some didn't.
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Is there ever a day that mattresses are NOT on sale?
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No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do people go back to the refrigerator in the hope that something new to eat has materialized?
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A memory returned of a forgotten item, or simple thoroughness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
How come we never hear "father-in-law" jokes?
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They aren't funny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
How did that "Keep Off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?
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It was placed there by a human.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why are there flotation devices under the seat of planes instead of parachutes?
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The parachute instructions are too lengthy to explain to the average passenger and would delay airport operations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
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Language quirk.
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Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of an airplane?
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Geronimo is dead. He doesn't jump out of planes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
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No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
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They're isolated cubicles that keep you "apart" from your neighbors.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do they put Braille dots on the keyboards of drive up ATM's?
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To comply with the handicap accessibility requirements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If they squeeze olive oil out of olives, how do they get baby oil?
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Baby oil is a usually fragrant mineral oil that is used especially to moisturize and cleanse the skin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
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In the event that they need to lock the doors.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why do you press harder on the remote control when you know that the battery is dead?
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This question is a duplicate and has already been addressed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
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That is the number of syllables required to pronounce the word properly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
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They are frauds. "Psychics" do not exist in the real world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
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It is merely an expression that means to "be prepared". The Boy Scouts of America have a similar motto, "Be Prepared".
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
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It goes rancid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
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We would be in the same location, but lacking an important part of human dialog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave
Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
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Because there are 12 letters comprising the word.
