Good stuff Metaman.
PenisFace... I guarantee you will fail on occasion. Look at those failures as an opportunity to learn and grow and get back up and keep pushing forward. Eventually, you'll get the hang of "being happy". Once you get to this point, you'll start to become enlightened.
When you fail... Think "What can I learn from this?". Find SOMETHING valuable you can take with you from that moment. Essentially, you are taking something that negatively effected you and turning it into something useful and positive.
The other thing is to never think about something unless it's a positive stream of consciousness, or you have intent behind it.
"Think with intent" and have the "Attitute of Gratitude".
Be greatful for the things you do have. Tell someone why you appreciate them. Do something for someone else and expect nothing in return.
Afterall, isn't that what you want?
Doing for others is a sure-fire way to "feel good" about something. Not to mention you end up making good connections. Surround yourself with others of like-minds. If you have retarded friends that do nothing but party, play games, act a fool and cause drama.... Ditch them. Get rid of the weight and get better people around you.