cwd

Ben Quayle's writings for thedirty.com (when it was dirtyscottsdale.com)


As a preface, I want to tell you a little about myself. First off, I?m a tall drink of water who is easy on the eyes. Plus, my moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot. Long story short, on a scale of 1-to-10, I?m awesome.


I usually have my blind date built up in my mind like this: she is model hot, wicked smart, uproariously funny, runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, once saved a small Indonesian village from a swarm of locusts with only a kite and a tennis ball and has serious daddy issues (just how I like ?em).


As I slowly and seductively removed my sexy outfit, a palpable tension was felt across the lake. When I took off my shirt, and the ladies caught a glimpse of my chiseled physique, I was summarily mobbed like I was a member of Menudo during the Puerto Rican day parade in NYC. Not that this is anything new.

funny stuff

http://thedirty.com/2010/08/ben-quay...ock-landers-2/