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The bottom element of my fucking oven died a couple of days ago in a nice symphony of stink and fire, and I am not going to run around looking for a replacement.
I have no intentions of broiling a turkey (my broiler still works), nor do I have time (or inclination) to haul my ass off this chair and buy a new oven.
On Thanksgiving, I will be thankful that I don't have to eat turkey or ham. I will be thankful that I'll be able to go to a seafood buffet while the family I sent off to relatives is eating shitty, dried out poultry.
This will be the best Thanksgiving ever, and I will not miss cooking.
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