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We couldn't find the lawn sprinkler a couple of weeks ago. The last time we saw it was in the front yard. We looked back on the security camera footage (we keep 10 days of history) and saw some black guy pull up at the stop sign, get out and steal the fucking sprinkler.
We've also had people dig up the little bushes we have planted on either side of the sidewalk leading up to the front door. They've stolen furniture off the porch too.
When I was in college I had two boxes of cake mix stolen out of my apartment.
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I like pie.
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