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In university, we had a saying when we we had a buddy on their way to the can for number 2. A sort of blessing you can say. "Flush twice. It's a long way to Mr. Tasty's." [Mr Tasty's can be replaced with your nasty burger joint]
I'm usually out quick, either comes out like a Contra Spreader spreading out like motha-fucka or they sink thick like Baghdad torpedoes and i'm going to need Betsy-Sue the plunger to ruin that sum-bitch. Damn that sum-bitch to hell (or Mr. Tasty's)
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