GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Never Retract, Never Rretreat, Never Apologise...

garce · 11-16-2010, 07:06 PM

Essay alert. Hit your back button now...

A brief overview of the history of "Grunge", and the origins of modern rock and roll (which is dead now, so this is all irrelevant.)

Kurt Cobain shot himself in the face when he realized Nirvana was just a pale imitation of The Sons of Freedom. In real life, Kurt stole the whole "grunge" concept from his northern neighbours. Of course, it wasn't called "grunge" when he stole the idea. It was just rock and roll. The "grunge" part of it is just a marketing term invented by SubPop.

This theft of concept, combined with his selling of said concept to an American record label, left poor, shy Kurt a multi-millionaire who was lost and alone. Thankfully, this no talent, visionless pussy turned to drugs - and in those drugs he managed to find the love of his life.

[Skip ahead to...]

If you take into consideration his idiotic marraige to a heroin whore who was even more useless and talentless than himself, its easy to see how a shotgun can taste better than life. A successful man should not be tempted by the first groupy to suck his dick. Unfortunately, Kurt wasn't successful. He was a failure on every level (beyond the "Make money for your label" level). The only people who succeeded with Nirvana were record company execs, and Dave Grohl.

There's no denying old Kurt was a talentless, chicken-shit pussy who'd rather suck on a shotgun than deal wth life. Pretty boy Kurt was a diaper wearing, pants pissing cry baby. He shouild have grew a spine and aimed the shotgun elsewhere. Aiming it in in the direction of, "Honey, I'm home!" would have been a solid start.

But he didn't. He curled up naked on a multi-million dollar fortune, whined like a welfare whore, and shot himself in the face. When he died, his bladder and bowels released. Ol' grunge king Kurt died stewing in his own shit and piss - a faceless, talentless failure.

Even though ol' Kurt was a year late and a dollar short, he still managed to garner great financial success thanks to the American corporate music machine. Nirvana's debut CD Bleach featured a number of songs that sounded completely fucking identical. It was one long cry-fest that would only be topped by the release of Nevermind - which may be the shittiest one-note bitch and moan album of the last 1,400 years. Regardless, pretty boy Kurt attracted a shitload of radio airtime, a shitload of fans, and his videos were in constant rotation on MTV and MuchMusic. He's also well respected - which is the biggest fucking joke in the history of life, the universe, and everything.

Unfortunately, no amount of money could make his face bulletproof, nor could his immense wealth hide his complete lack of talent or imagination. Combine this guilt with his marraige to Courtney Love, and you can almost justify the suicide. Almost.

The Criminal...

...and the song Nirvana only dreamed of recording - Mona Lisa.

I hear her calling...

(A much shorter and heavily edited version of an essay I wrote for another website. Have at me.)

11-16-2010, 07:06 PM
garce Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 7,103	Never Retract, Never Rretreat, Never Apologise... Essay alert. Hit your back button now... A brief overview of the history of "Grunge", and the origins of modern rock and roll (which is dead now, so this is all irrelevant.) Kurt Cobain shot himself in the face when he realized Nirvana was just a pale imitation of The Sons of Freedom. In real life, Kurt stole the whole "grunge" concept from his northern neighbours. Of course, it wasn't called "grunge" when he stole the idea. It was just rock and roll. The "grunge" part of it is just a marketing term invented by SubPop. This theft of concept, combined with his selling of said concept to an American record label, left poor, shy Kurt a multi-millionaire who was lost and alone. Thankfully, this no talent, visionless pussy turned to drugs - and in those drugs he managed to find the love of his life. [Skip ahead to...] If you take into consideration his idiotic marraige to a heroin whore who was even more useless and talentless than himself, its easy to see how a shotgun can taste better than life. A successful man should not be tempted by the first groupy to suck his dick. Unfortunately, Kurt wasn't successful. He was a failure on every level (beyond the "Make money for your label" level). The only people who succeeded with Nirvana were record company execs, and Dave Grohl. There's no denying old Kurt was a talentless, chicken-shit pussy who'd rather suck on a shotgun than deal wth life. Pretty boy Kurt was a diaper wearing, pants pissing cry baby. He shouild have grew a spine and aimed the shotgun elsewhere. Aiming it in in the direction of, "Honey, I'm home!" would have been a solid start. But he didn't. He curled up naked on a multi-million dollar fortune, whined like a welfare whore, and shot himself in the face. When he died, his bladder and bowels released. Ol' grunge king Kurt died stewing in his own shit and piss - a faceless, talentless failure. Even though ol' Kurt was a year late and a dollar short, he still managed to garner great financial success thanks to the American corporate music machine. Nirvana's debut CD Bleach featured a number of songs that sounded completely fucking identical. It was one long cry-fest that would only be topped by the release of Nevermind - which may be the shittiest one-note bitch and moan album of the last 1,400 years. Regardless, pretty boy Kurt attracted a shitload of radio airtime, a shitload of fans, and his videos were in constant rotation on MTV and MuchMusic. He's also well respected - which is the biggest fucking joke in the history of life, the universe, and everything. Unfortunately, no amount of money could make his face bulletproof, nor could his immense wealth hide his complete lack of talent or imagination. Combine this guilt with his marraige to Courtney Love, and you can almost justify the suicide. Almost. The Criminal... ...and the song Nirvana only dreamed of recording - Mona Lisa. I hear her calling... (A much shorter and heavily edited version of an essay I wrote for another website. Have at me.)