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Ah well I made it through two sober weeks and weekends so tonight I put a couple drinks back and decided to have this lady come over and trade a spanking for a BJ ... sometimes I think I never will change ..... but I sure am ready to be healthy again .. and at least I won't be "drunk" tonight even though I am having 3-4 drinks and I've been eating 100% better and my attitude is improving
I was so beat up from the drinking I did 3 weekends ago I didn't reallt even WANT to drink... Huge bruises on my side above my hip and my leg was all kinds of fucked up it's still barely healed and I had cuts and swollen hands and the police were here and I don't know why and I think my neighbor hates me now.. I AM TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT NOW
That time I was sober for 2 years I would have a couple now and then but never allowed myself any more than that. Seems I can stay sober for a-lot longer if I don't try to abstain 100% .... does that make sense or is it one more alcoholics excuse? I just don't know any more lately my whole reality is so skewed by life
I definitely think the housebitch will improve things and this new hustle will keep me more busy and give me more money to fuck with so I can make more deals
Really I never want to drink when I have business deals to do, blowjobs to enjoy, card games to play .... you know? I don't know I should have travelled more, they pay for it anyway and they're great at sucking and they always take me to nice places and they all have nice smiles
I just am ready to have my own house again ... not an apartment .. a house
Did yall know for the first time in my life I do not have a Cadillac, right now? AT ALL?
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