Never had a hemrhoid, but i will tell you what I do have. I get pilonidal cysts, you can read about them
http://www.pointsincase.com/articles...of_my_tail.htm
Anyways, Its basically a cyst in your buttcrack. Some people are born with it. Its re-occurring. It is terribly painful and can get the size of a golf ball making it impossible to even stand up straight.
Theres not much you can do about it aside from waiting for the thing to explode in all its creamy-bloody glory. Its disgusting.
I had surgery on it a few years ago and that alleviated the thing ever returning to the size of a golf ball but its still annoying when it comes back and if it happens to pop while your out somewhere it makes it appear you shit your pants.
Thought I would share
