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Wake Up.
Give up on ideas and visions. Let someone use your content and their programing effort to build a site, overpay them and when you are done paying them back, change it to what you want - or better still, if they are any good have them share in your vision and work with you on the redesign as you now know their capabilities and they know they will be paid back.
Let them build you a site while you are working at McDonald's. Who gives a fuck. You know you will be out of there as soon as the site is done and paid off.
The more you sell your content, the more you are diluting your unique value.
You got into this mess but having the fatally poor business decision to not adhere to rule 1 in computers that every novice learns in computer, businesses and life 101 - back it up, have more than 1 backup, and have backups located far off site as well.
You are an artist and a good one. Not a business person.
I know you have been thrown curve balls that would knock anyone down. Drop the ego, settle for less (on this go round), work hard to find a partner, write a contract so expectations are in line and there are no surprises, live up to it and work with a partner that will do the same. When they are paid off, and when you have bankrolled enough, then you can "sit back" and redesign your sites along with apps or whatever else you want to do.
You are going to die on this treadmill otherwise.
Many of the best artists in the world die broke. Don't be one of them.
I would give anything to have your talent.
Start working on finding someone to work with today.
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