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Some thoughts.
1. remove the phone battery and try to dry it out on a heater (not too hot. I put my nokia into the washing mashine last week. i got it out but it had got wet. i dried it, fine now.
2. Buy an external keyboard for your laptop.
3. From my observastions from TV, the chipmunk will entertain you in both song and wit. Often wear small baseball hats and jumpers.
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