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-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
-Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine "Chuck Norris." When they refused, Chuck roundhouse kicked Google in the face, transforming it's bruised remains into Google Dark.
-Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick
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