LOS ANGELES ? Fourteen-time major champion Tiger Woods is set to make a "special announcement" Monday on the Golf Channel, but details on what he would be addressing were a mystery.
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"I is hereby announcin' that I be excommunicatin' muhself from tha game of golf here today and forevuh hereafter. There be mo' to life than chasin' a little white ball hithuh and yonduh. I have ho's and bitchez that needs me. I am dun wit bein a global icon and an inspiration to childrens all ovuh the world. They has Ronalds McDonalds fo' dat. I jus' needs to be me. I is free at last. Thank you and god bless."