Originally Posted by Jesus H Christ

Some times they're not. I got a golden lab a few years back that was abandoned from my local shelter. Anyway, he's a great looking dog, but easily the dumbest on the planet.

A typical day consists of chewing something he's been told 100x not to or barking for zero reason. It's hard to explain, but he's just off with the pace of life. Like one time I was playing with my little terrier on the ground and his big dumb ass got so excited he ran around the couch and clocked me in the jaw dislocating it.

I was home alone and freaked out because my jaw would not go back in place. So I get my keys to rush to the hospital, he thinks it's park time, jumps up hitting my hand flipping my keys right into his water bowl.

The keys won't turn the truck alarm off because they're wet, so I had to sit and wait for my wife to drive an hour away to take me to the hospital as he's jumping up and down thinking it's park time.

Shit like this happens so much in my house we call it getting Homer-ed

So if you're looking for a new mutt anytime soon, he's chipped, neutered, and I'll pay for shipping.