IF this wire never comes, I will prob still get by this month as Sept was fairly good. BUT $1000 to a guy like me (after fees) is huge. Of course I could bitch about it but how does the sponsor not KNOW I did not receive it? I could be lying.
Wires are believed to be infallible (and I hope they are) but IF they dont come what is the recourse. This is why I should have NEVER did a wire for 2 periods worth of payments which to me is everything.
It is what I have worked for the last 4 years since Google termed me in Sep 2007 ONLY because I had too many submissions that got rejected. I did not know and they were not that bad of kws. Just words that are titles in adult sites.
Anyhow, I have been falling since all the way around. Free falling.
You see those threads below in my sig, they are really the work of a man who is heading for the waterfalls BUT is paddling as hard as I can. Who needs to smile as he sees disaster coming or at least looming.
To finally get this $1000 ahead and THEN to go thru this hell (maybe self emposed). This is why I am here. Like a wounded cat. I am home. And the power of GFY. We all know there is power
somehow
will allow me to FINALLY triumph.
Maybe I want you all to be hear when I do finally triumph and I prove that an old guy of 54 with no organic traffic in 2007 still managed thru giving it my very all, through help from everyone of you to succeed in this now very tough biz.
So this $1000 is my get ahead money. My little bit of cushion. WHY did I trust it to a wire? I would much rather ask Ruth where my Paxum payment is then mess with a wire.
J/k Ruth.
But you see my point. I made a stupid decision as wires dont really have an easy way for the receiver to know wtf is up if they do become late.
Anyhow.. back to the tunes for now..
this song is for Mom
it is from 1975, it breaks me up everytime but I lost really my best friend this year on March 14. She was 95 but it was just me and her since 1968 when my dad was killed in an auto accident.
Yes never had a father. It hurt I know now.
But on Oct 16 1968 he got hit by another car while driving a jeep in an uncontrolled intersection in a small Minnesota town.
On Oct 21, 1968 he died in a Mpls hospital. I was eleven. My brother was there. He flew in from Vietnam
The doctor came in at 6:30 pm and said, "im sorry, we lost him"
I said in immediate tears, "Mom, what are we gonna do"
she said, "dont worry Ill take care of you"
and she always did. Maybe it made me soft, Maybe I didnt respect money as much. I always worked but she would give the the hundie if I needed it.
Anyhow mom this is for you. This song reminds me of you.
thank you for always being there. we will make it