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Sunny Day · 10-05-2011, 02:22 PM

Hate to say this, but there are places in Kansas & Missouri like this

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

MORE JUST NOVEMBER-MARCH

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

THE 8 HOUR DRIVE FROM KC TO DENVER, JUST TO GO TO MOUNTAINS

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada ..

MY FRONT YARD

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada ..

HAD A TRAILER AND WORKED NIGHTS. I COULD ONLY GET TO SLEEP WITH THE HEAT & ELECTRIC BLANKET ON AT 8 AM, BY NOON THE A/C HAD TO KICK ON TO PREVENT IT GETTING TO 150 F

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

DAMN COMBINES DON'T HAVE SPEEDOMETERS. WHO KNOWS HOW FAST WE'RE GOING.

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

GIRLFRIEND LEAVES FRONT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT FOR 'AIR FLOW.' COME ON IN MR. MANSON.

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

HER NEXT PROJECT IS REPLACING VALVE COER GASKETS. TOLD HER THE CAR SMELLED OF OIL THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

IIf the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

MY MOTHER BITCHES ABOUT PEOPLE PASSING HER. WHEN SHE'S 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada ..

HERE, THE POLITICIANS GIVE SEMINARS TO CHICAGO & NYC POLITICIANS, ON HOW TO STEAL MONEY & GET THE 'PEOPLE' TO LOVE YOU AND KEEP REELECTING YOU.

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .

THANK GOD WE HAVE 4 SEASONS. AS FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION, DIDN'T ADAM HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT AND IN THE YEAR 2525, THERE WILL STILL BE ROAD CONSTRICTION IN THIS TOWN.

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

GETTING OLD. ANYTHING UNDER 90 F IS FUCKING COLD

If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

HEY, I LOVE RED/GREEN. JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WASN'T FROM KANSAS.

10-05-2011, 02:22 PM
Sunny Day Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,406	Canadians are lost Kansasans Hate to say this, but there are places in Kansas & Missouri like this If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, You may live in Canada . MORE JUST NOVEMBER-MARCH If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada . THE 8 HOUR DRIVE FROM KC TO DENVER, JUST TO GO TO MOUNTAINS If you know several people Who have hit a deer more than once, You may live in Canada .. MY FRONT YARD If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .. HAD A TRAILER AND WORKED NIGHTS. I COULD ONLY GET TO SLEEP WITH THE HEAT & ELECTRIC BLANKET ON AT 8 AM, BY NOON THE A/C HAD TO KICK ON TO PREVENT IT GETTING TO 150 F If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow During a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada . DAMN COMBINES DON'T HAVE SPEEDOMETERS. WHO KNOWS HOW FAST WE'RE GOING. If you install security lights on your house and garage, But leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada . GIRLFRIEND LEAVES FRONT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT FOR 'AIR FLOW.' COME ON IN MR. MANSON. If you carry jumper cables in your car And your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada . HER NEXT PROJECT IS REPLACING VALVE COER GASKETS. TOLD HER THE CAR SMELLED OF OIL THE PAST FEW MONTHS. IIf the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada . MY MOTHER BITCHES ABOUT PEOPLE PASSING HER. WHEN SHE'S 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT If driving is better in the winter Because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .. HERE, THE POLITICIANS GIVE SEMINARS TO CHICAGO & NYC POLITICIANS, ON HOW TO STEAL MONEY & GET THE 'PEOPLE' TO LOVE YOU AND KEEP REELECTING YOU. If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, You may live in Canada . THANK GOD WE HAVE 4 SEASONS. AS FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION, DIDN'T ADAM HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT AND IN THE YEAR 2525, THERE WILL STILL BE ROAD CONSTRICTION IN THIS TOWN. If you have more miles On your snow blower than your car, You may live in Canada . If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', You may live in Canada . GETTING OLD. ANYTHING UNDER 90 F IS FUCKING COLD If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be. HEY, I LOVE RED/GREEN. JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WASN'T FROM KANSAS.