Aha! Sounds like a good one for The Guess Who-American Woman...
If you're truly looking to wallow, use the Blues, darling. That's what they're there for!
Failing that... The BeeGees-Tragedy. The only problem is, one tends to start giggling when wailing along to this classic of self-pity! So it may not achieve the desired effect.
(Hmmm... the hard-and-fast approach. My favourite! Good luck with that...)