GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - Breaking a harmful ten year tradition.. thoughts?

MrMaxwell · 12-12-2011, 03:46 PM

I have only been drunk twice all year.
I have not had a drop in 3 months or more.

On new years eve for the last ten years I find a place to be 100% incommunicado, alone, and I get so loaded alcohol comes out of my pores (literally). I spend it alone with my loud music and some rum and some vodka and some beer. It is my time to cry and scream and REMEMBER (I can not remember anything when I am sober, any more, nothing). And it hurts SO good. Me and amy winehouse and all of my use to bes and people who died and the good times all coming back in the music and the intensity and the everything.

The next day I am running so slow that you literally can not feel a pulse on me. I feel faint, and move so slow that I can watch my arm move for several seconds when I lift one. It is the most peaceful feeling I know of being possible for a human being.

Well. This time my sister and my woman are violently opposed to me doing it. I want to do it, with every fiber of my being. But to not disappoint them I finally agreed to not do it.

If I do not do it - I believe that not doing it will cause me to be more likely do drink next year. Does that make any sense at all? Or is it empty pseudo rationalization? I am pretty sure that it is the latter.

12-12-2011, 03:46 PM
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	Breaking a harmful ten year tradition.. thoughts? I have only been drunk twice all year. I have not had a drop in 3 months or more. On new years eve for the last ten years I find a place to be 100% incommunicado, alone, and I get so loaded alcohol comes out of my pores (literally). I spend it alone with my loud music and some rum and some vodka and some beer. It is my time to cry and scream and REMEMBER (I can not remember anything when I am sober, any more, nothing). And it hurts SO good. Me and amy winehouse and all of my use to bes and people who died and the good times all coming back in the music and the intensity and the everything. The next day I am running so slow that you literally can not feel a pulse on me. I feel faint, and move so slow that I can watch my arm move for several seconds when I lift one. It is the most peaceful feeling I know of being possible for a human being. Well. This time my sister and my woman are violently opposed to me doing it. I want to do it, with every fiber of my being. But to not disappoint them I finally agreed to not do it. If I do not do it - I believe that not doing it will cause me to be more likely do drink next year. Does that make any sense at all? Or is it empty pseudo rationalization? I am pretty sure that it is the latter. Last edited by MrMaxwell; 12-12-2011 at 03:48 PM..