Quote:
Originally Posted by garce
Your grandmother is not your responsibility. Abandon her and leave her die. Sue the state when she does. You have no obliation to provide care for your grandparents.
Its probably different in the States...
I took care of my mother-in-law from 2002 to mid-2007. She died mid-2010. I took care of my mother from late 2007 till her death in June 2010. During THAT time, I had two grown children in college, was paying my mother's bills and caring for my severely menatlly diabled sister.
My sister is still under my care. My kids are still in college. To ice the cake, my ex (the mother of my kids) is bipolar, and my "wife" (my mother-in-law's daughter) is an unrepentant cocaine addict.
It is IMPOSSIBILE to live a satisfying life while providing 24 hour a day care for people you are not responsible for. My children suffered because of the obligations I felt I had to fulfill.
It would have been so much easier to take my kids and move to a different city; into a different house. If I had the chance to do it over again, I would.
If you ever wonder why I'm so bitter, refer back to this post.
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I have to hand it to you. Very commendable. And fact is you could have had the county pay for her in assisted living from the get go. And to actually do the care work is crazy (but commendable). We are in diff countries so maybe things arent quite the same either with laws ect.
We all want to keep them home but assisted living is not that bad (like an apt with a maid service basicly) plus the County pays the tab.
I cant see where people are paying out of their own pockets. Granted some folks can afford to and that is great. I am referring more to when the children are of modest means.
Of course the parents are afraid of the NH word. But explain to them they will start in Assisted Living. And start ahead of that (5 years plus before you ever ask for govt assistance which is naturally very tricky but in retrospect is the thing to do) by turning all finances over to you their trusted child.