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When my kid was about five she back talked to my wife and I rocked her world. I'm a former US Marine; I don't get mad, don't have anger issues, but I can quickly raise my voice to the point where you think I'm going to rip your heart out of your chest. I snatched her by her collar, quickly tossed her up on the hood of the car, and gave her a "dressing down" she hasn't forgotten to this very day. In the event we have any problems now, all I need to do is raise my voice and it sends her running to fix whatever the problem is.
My step father wasn't afraid to sit me over his knee and smack my bare ass with his belt, and while there is no doubt in my mind I deserved it on those rare occasions... I don't see myself ever going there. There are so many ways to punish a child without resorting to getting physical.
Recently my kid was doing bad in school, grades, math. We came down pretty hard and pretty much took away everything from her - No computers, no television, no friends, and her cell phone only on her way to and from school. On weekends she was allowed to spend the night at a friend's house (mostly for my own sanity) but only after all of her home work was completed, her chores were done, and her bathroom and her bedroom were clean. The turn around we saw in a two week period was stunning and her grades quickly improved, although we have a lot of work to do yet.
If your kid thinks there is "nothing you can do to them" they are sadly mistaken. Take away their cell phones, computers, games, television, their favorite dinner, everything. Tell them until their attitude changes they get nothing but studying and chores - and make them do every last chore you can think of. Physically intimidate them, but don't hit them.
Tell them that if they don't like it, you can make other arrangements. If if you get to that point, call up your local police department, explain what's going on, and have them swing by and scare the shit out of your kid. I have a friend who did this and it worked great.
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