Quote:
Originally Posted by cthulhu_waves
My oldest son hates me and everything I love. This is really disheartening for me because I admired my father and was always a "good boy." I liked spending time with my father. My most cherished memories are of me sitting with Dad in the living room watching B grade sci-fi like "Krull" and "Lifeforce" with Steve McQueen. I watched "Total Recall" with my Dad. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.
My oldest boy, though, is consistently negative. He waits for you to be happiest or at your most vulnerable then spews venom. Talks back constantly, HATES to do any kind of chore or work. We've tried every single possible method to bring his behavior into line and none of it has made the slightest difference. In the old days (prior to 1980 or so) he would have gotten the strap or the board, or possibly beaten up behind the shed after dark. It's THAT bad. But now, since he feels insulated and protected by the law - and he's said that "There's nothing you can do to me" - he is simply free to say the most vile possible things. I never said "I hate you" to my parents. Not even one time. He's said it dozens of times since he was six years old, right to our faces. I wish I knew what to do.
|
I don't have kids of my own, but my brother went through this (and still is) with his son and another friend had a problem like this with his daughter. Sadly, nothing my brother did worked because his wife never stood by him. Now they have a son who is 18, has no job, smokes pot and does drugs and will disappear for days at a time and has been arrested a half a dozen times.
My friend with the daughter fixed things. One afternoon she came home from school and found everything in her room gone. All she had left was a mattress on the floor and some totes with her clothes in them. They told he the answer to everything would be no. No friends, not phone, no watching TV. No. No. No. She was to come home and go to her room. She was pissed and threw fits every day for a week, but they didn't give in to her. They then took her to a therapist. She didn't want to go, but the therapist actually got her to open up admit that she had a lot of inner rage because she feels like her biological father doesn't love her and has abandoned her and that her stepfather only tolerates her so he can be with her mom (even though he had been with her mom since she was about 4). Once the source of her rage was out in the open she learned how to deal with it and things actually opened up and were a lot better.
She is 19 now and I guess a little while back she told her mom and step-dad that she was grateful that they did that. She was so full of rage all the time she hated everything and thought everyone hated her and it really help her to be happy.
Obviously your kid is angry about something, the hard part is finding out what it is.