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Ignoring all the stupidity Johnnyclips has spewed all over this thread and answering the OP's question:
Discipline starts at a young age. If you tell your child there is a punishment for them breaking a rule and they break the rule, you HAVE to enforce the rule. If you let it slide, they will learn early on that you won't follow through.
Your son is already a teenager and maybe when he was younger, you tried to hard to be his friend instead of his dad. I was kind of guilty of that with my oldest son. With 5 kids, I learned really quickly that you have to follow through with everything you say, good or bad. I was never one for physical discipline. My kids had to stand against the wall and not talk to anyone at all for 15 minutes to an hour, depending on the infraction. It was worse than any spanking and didn't teach them that violence was a meas to an end.
You may have actually done everything right and your kid is just an asshole anyways. It happens. The world is full of kids who are assholes through no fault of their parents. Keep in mind, kids are in school 8 hours per day and around other people. Those people sometimes have more influence than you do as a parent.
If your son is violent, look into a local scared straight program and get some counseling. Sure, he'll probably tell you to go fuck yourself, but let him know you're not asking him to go, you're telling him. If he's under your house, he has to follow your rules. If he doesn't like them, he's free to get a job and pay his own way, then he can do whatever he wants.
My oldest daughter is very strong willed and required a little different means of discipline. For her, taking away her netbook, phone, etc. is a horrid punishment, even worse than death (in her mind). Her punishments are also things like getting her facebook/email passwords changed thereby cutting her off from them (my ex-wife and I have her passwords). She's done the "I hate you" thing, especially lately with my ex-wife (hence her coming back to live with me next school year). She's going to find that she still has rules to follow and there are consequences for not following those rules and they will be followed up with.
The key is to do everything you can do and realize, even though you love your son, he just might be an asshole of his own accord, but you'll have done everything you could. If he uses the threat "there's nothing you can do to me" take him on a tour of a local youth offender facility. Show him what life is like if he's taken away from you and placed in one of those places. It's not glamorous at all.
If you start seeing progress, keep at it. The key is just being consistent. You also have to realize he might make some progress, then backslide. Just be there to love him unconditionally when he does. Any parent who claims to have the perfect child is either a liar or doped up on Valium ;-)
I have great kids that admittedly have had their share of problems, but I'm proud of the fact that they are overall great kids and I did everything I could as a parent to point them in the right direction and instill a sense of pride when they accomplish things.
You have to balance out the platitudes along with the discipline. Focus on their positive things. If your son makes some progress, reward him with praise.
I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist or "child rearing expert"...I'm a father of 5 great kids who sometimes stumble along the way and I've learned that parenting isn't easy and is full of challenges. I learned that shit in the trenches. You just have to take the challenges on full speed ahead and celebrate when little things go right.
Sorry for being so long-winded, but felt you could use another answer from an actual parent.
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