Originally Posted by Just Alex

every time I see word "elite" I think of Sleazy and it makes me hard. I can't understand why, something about him really turns me on. I stalk him and it makes me sad when he doesn't post for days. I wonder what he's doing, if he's ok, and if he thinks of me. I dream of one day going to one of his elite parties, and being a bro. I know it's just a dream though, as I sit here in my Mom's basement listening to her bang yet another guy just out of prison in her bedroom above my room. I wonder what it would be like to move out, be on my own and be respected for what I have done and tried to do. But the screams of my mother getting pounded above snaps me back into reality. I know my lot in life is to be on this board, and stalk those who I really want to meet. I mean, there's really no other reason to stalk people unless you're secretly in love with them is there? It's something I read about once, and it really makes sense, cause I think about Sleazy all the time. I think I'm obsessed, I even have a clay sculpture I made of him, and it looks really good with the grey hair tints on it now that are colored by the cum drippings from my mom's room above. I snicker as I think that some douche bag'd cum, just out of jail, drizzled through the floorboards and is now all over Sleazy's head. Those thoughts make me happy. But then I realize I'm all alone, here in my basement listening to my mom moan above and I go back to GFY and troll for more opportunities. Hopefully Sleazy will reply. Attention means everything, even if it's bad attention. It means HE'S thinking about me, and in the end, that's all that matters. That way I KNOW I have someone, a connection, some sort of reason for being. Something to break the craziness of the screams of shear joy from above. Cause without Sleazy, I'd just have to go into the spare bedroom upstairs, remove the picture and stare though the hole in the wall at the ex-con who's fucking my Mom.