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phypon · 06-28-2012, 10:24 AM

Personally I don't like dreamscapes in porn. I think that by doing so and cutting back forth from the dream/memory to the present breaks the action up too much and diverts attention away from what the viewer wants to see. Also, dreamscapes in porn suck because it's a fantasy within a fantasy for the viewer. The viewer is already placing themselves into their own fantasy by watching. They are trying to make it as real for them as possible. To find out you're in someone else's fantasy makes it seem "less real" (if that makes sense).

I was board so I changed it a bit. Not finished or polished. Like I said, I was bored so here is a read for you:
__________________________________________

OPENING

BLACK SCREEN:

The sound of a woman walking in high heels at a normal pace is heard. (click click click click click click click) The sound suddenly stops.

HELLEN

Uggghhh...(sighing)

OUTSIDE HOTEL LOUNGE:

The camera opens focused on Hellen's broken red high heel shoe and slowly pans up her body. (Hellen wearing business attire with skirt)

CUT TO:

INSIDE HOTEL LOUNGE:

Hellen sitting at the bar on a stool with her foot on her knee rubbing her foot. The broken shoe atop the bar.

Magda

Rough day, hon? (sitting on stool next to Hellen)

hellen

Almost in tears looking at magda nods her head in agreement

MAGDA

Must be a man. They'll do that to you.

hellen

Yup. I hate them. I'm done with them. (quickly wipes tear from her cheek)

MAGDA

Awww. I'm right there with you, hon. (turns body towards Hellen and begins caressing her shoeless foot)

MAGDA

We've all been there, hon. It get's better.

HELLEN

It's not so much him. I really liked these shoes. It's just one of those days where nothing seems to (turns to grab her glass of wine and spills it on her shirt)

HELLEN

Ugh. (frustrated sigh) Seems to go right.

MAGDA

Oh dear!

The two women look at each other, pause and then laugh. Magda grabs Hellen's hand.

MAGDA

Come on, hon. I have a beautiful blouse you can wear.

The two get up and walk to the exit. A sexy walk with their tight round asses bouncing from side to side. Both women are in short business skirts and Hellen is shoeless. The camera is focused on theirasses.

CUT TO:

Magda and Hellen walking down the hotel hallway towards Magda's room. Magda holding Hellen's hand.

MAGDA

When I have a bad day I do something I would't normally do. Something crazy.

HELLEN

I don't understand.

MAGDA

You know, something rebellious. Something taboo. Live out a fantasy. Break the rules.

The two are at the door of the hotel room. Hellen stares at Magda with wonderment and curiosity as Magda is opening the door.

CUT TO:

Inside hotel room. Two beds inside the room. Magda is sitting on one bed and Hellen is sitting on the other. They are facing each other.

06-28-2012, 10:24 AM
phypon Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 440	Personally I don't like dreamscapes in porn. I think that by doing so and cutting back forth from the dream/memory to the present breaks the action up too much and diverts attention away from what the viewer wants to see. Also, dreamscapes in porn suck because it's a fantasy within a fantasy for the viewer. The viewer is already placing themselves into their own fantasy by watching. They are trying to make it as real for them as possible. To find out you're in someone else's fantasy makes it seem "less real" (if that makes sense). I was board so I changed it a bit. Not finished or polished. Like I said, I was bored so here is a read for you: __________________________________________ OPENING BLACK SCREEN: The sound of a woman walking in high heels at a normal pace is heard. (click click click click click click click) The sound suddenly stops. HELLEN Uggghhh...(sighing) OUTSIDE HOTEL LOUNGE: The camera opens focused on Hellen's broken red high heel shoe and slowly pans up her body. (Hellen wearing business attire with skirt) CUT TO: INSIDE HOTEL LOUNGE: Hellen sitting at the bar on a stool with her foot on her knee rubbing her foot. The broken shoe atop the bar. Magda Rough day, hon? (sitting on stool next to Hellen) hellen Almost in tears looking at magda nods her head in agreement MAGDA Must be a man. They'll do that to you. hellen Yup. I hate them. I'm done with them. (quickly wipes tear from her cheek) MAGDA Awww. I'm right there with you, hon. (turns body towards Hellen and begins caressing her shoeless foot) MAGDA We've all been there, hon. It get's better. HELLEN It's not so much him. I really liked these shoes. It's just one of those days where nothing seems to (turns to grab her glass of wine and spills it on her shirt) HELLEN Ugh. (frustrated sigh) Seems to go right. MAGDA Oh dear! The two women look at each other, pause and then laugh. Magda grabs Hellen's hand. MAGDA Come on, hon. I have a beautiful blouse you can wear. The two get up and walk to the exit. A sexy walk with their tight round asses bouncing from side to side. Both women are in short business skirts and Hellen is shoeless. The camera is focused on theirasses. CUT TO: Magda and Hellen walking down the hotel hallway towards Magda's room. Magda holding Hellen's hand. MAGDA When I have a bad day I do something I would't normally do. Something crazy. HELLEN I don't understand. MAGDA You know, something rebellious. Something taboo. Live out a fantasy. Break the rules. The two are at the door of the hotel room. Hellen stares at Magda with wonderment and curiosity as Magda is opening the door. CUT TO: Inside hotel room. Two beds inside the room. Magda is sitting on one bed and Hellen is sitting on the other. They are facing each other.