Fuck the police. There are only 4,500 households in Van Wert. Any idea as to what the going rate for Paki telemarketers is these days? They can just go through the white pages and call every number to spread the word about not only about Chris, but about the absolutely piss poor job Mary and Gilbert did in raising the little fucker.
While they're at it, they can also call everyone on staff as well as all physicians affiliated with the Paulding County Hospital. Except of course for his dad because I'm almost entirely certain that he's aware of the fact that his son is a big fucking loser, there's is no sense in rubbing it in, and making sure that each and every one of his colleagues knows is punishment enough.
Here's the contact info with email addresses of a few random high school classmates of his mom. If you have a second, send them both a link to this thread. If his mom is only half as competitive as my mom is with her classmates,, I'm sure they'll be thrilled to know that Mary raised a big fucking loser and will probably tell the others.
CROSSING THE PERSONAL INFO LINE HERE. NOW YOU HAVE EARNED A VACATION.
Oh and Anna,here's a link to the local Pizza Hut.
Whether or not he lives at 361 E. Ervin is irrelevant because we do know that somebody lives there and everyone loves pizza!
http://www.pizzahut.com/locations/ohio/van-wert/005885