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Sorry about your loss man. I lost 2 cats in my life so far, and it's never easy. In both cases I was an emotional mess. Oddly, I rarely cry over the death of a human. I think cat owners always view their pets as babies, so maybe that plays into the confusing dynamic.
It may sound cold, but like someone already posted, you'll feel much better once you get a new pet (or two or three). Hang in there.
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