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You can find keywords in AdWords Keyword Tool (this one is the most important one, since it is Google), Wordtracker, Keyword Discovery, Keyword Strategy and other sites. You need to start with keywords of your choice and start digging deeper. So, for example, if it is a milf blog I would start with: "milf sex", "milf porn", "milf fuck", "milf fucking" etc... You can record your results in Excel spreadsheets.
It is important to look at SEO competition too. Your goal is to get to the first place of Google (so you are gonna be getting about 80% of all the clicks from that search term), and if the competition is hard it is gonna be hard to get (domain age, page rank, number of backlinks). You can check SEO competition with Market Samurai. I recommend watching their educational vids too.
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