Women are fucking amazing and men should never be in a kitchen unless they're fucking women in there
I'm awake, alone, and thought to myself.. well, I'm going to eat a huge salad and watch my favorite program.
So I'm in there and I get out this huge bowl and find some cheese.. I manage to get it unwrapped and realize that I have no idea of how to find a cheese grater. Ten minutes and some cursing later, I have some shredded cheese. Great. Now I'm slicing a tomato and I decide to be innovative and grate a tomato. Forget it, that didn't fucking work. So now I've sliced the tomato into chunks of tomato with the knife. Done. Open up a bag of salad and whatever else and put it in the bowl. Add the cheese. Try to mix it up- mixing is impossible. Great. Fuck it. Add tomatoes and dressing. Try mixing, again. Imfuckingpossible. Get second bowl. Mixing is still impossible because everything keps flopping out the sides of the bowl, again, even though it's half empty.
Well. Everything is a mess now. But. I have a HUGE salad. And I'm going to watch my program. I'm never going into the kitchen, again.
|