Your metabolic rate actually speeds up and slows down in direct proportion to the quantity of food you eat.
There is no net gain or loss from eating more frequently in terms of total calories burned through the day.
However, when people wake up, drink coffee for breakfast, then eat a huge lunch, that is followed by a crash which then makes it difficult to exercise, workout etc. An active lifestyle requires more frequent and consistent eating to maintain stable and consistent energy levels. But eating 6 times a day rather than 3 isn't going to cause anyone to lose weight by itself. There is an indirect effect on metabolic rate, energy levels etc in this aforementioned sense. But simply waking up one day and saying "i'm eating 6 times instead of 3" is meaningless to 99% of people and really is just going to cause people to eat too many calories over all.
Total calories in vs total calories out
One thing i've learned dyna_mo is that nothing one says matters in terms of big picture. beliefs are religion. people tell themselves what they need to and believe what they want to. explaining facts isn't helpful and particularly with women... challenging emotion with facts is futile.
You achieved something great. I know its great, because I watch countless people start with the same intention of getting down to XX% body fat and immediately get off track, find excuses, rationalize etc etc etc. Thats how you know you are different. You are better. You stopped looking for excuses and started looking for answers... and you accepted them and did the work. Thats something almost every one will never do. It takes a strength of character that most either don't have or can't muster.
On a side note to stupidity in fitness and health and myth/hype... go into any vitamin shoppe or GNC an hour after Dr Oz airs. You'll seriously be standing there saying "what the fuck!!!". You can tell what he talked about that day by what they bought. It's totally insane. Everyone wants a pill. Everyone wants "easy". Everyone wants to believe they're right with all their excuses. Everyone wants to believe they are in control of what is in reality a very frail body that can die at any moment.