If I understand correctly, you need to redirect any inbound traffic directed at your mobile site to your actual site. I would add something silimar to your .htaccess:
RewriteCond %{SERVER_NAME} ^m\.slipperyonion\.com$
RewriteRule .?
http://www.slipperyonion.com [L,R=301]
Hit me up or reply here if you need a more detailed explanation.