The theme on kinkygirls is terrible. No one is going to want to click any of those thumbs if they land on the front page. Too much useless text, those white boxes with the light tags are hideous, everything about the color scheme is a turnoff.
Once you're watching the video... the link to the sponsor should be the biggest, boldest, most obvious thing to click on the page. it should be an obnoxious h1 tag directly below the video that says "click here to download the full video", no nonsense with @ paysite name, as stated above. The goal is to drive clicks to your sponsors, not confuse them with bad color schemes and ambiguous text.
bdsmslut is a little better... lose the popunder. At your traffic levels, that one click pop over/under is going to cannibalize your productive traffic and you'll actually make less money versus focussing on trying to sell those memberships. Are you trading with the plugrush widget or just selling traffic with it? Either way it's going to kill your time on site, it shouldn't be the featured row of videos on your page.
Quick googling around found sites like the one you are trying to build, except better. No idea who's this is, but it looks better, colors make sense, navigation makes sense, and it probably makes money:
http://bdsmvideotube.com . Comparing it side by side with yours you should be able to tell right away what you're missing.