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Why don't Jehovah Witness celebrate Halloween?
They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.
Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?
Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sshh! pretend we are not in!!"
A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home.
"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."
Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply.
Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response.
Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."
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