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You gave long winded explanations as to how nothing was your fault.
That was the single recurring theme in everything you've said and seemingly... in your life.
And though it will surely fall on deaf ears, its relevant because it is your own pattern of behavior and how you view the world which puts you here today. And its that same denial that blinds you to the fact that you can't be helped because your biggest problem is you.
There is no way to help a drug addict standing at an intersection begging for money by giving him $5.00. That is, in my view the most selfish thing anyone could do. It's a selfish, feel good gesture to make the individual feel good, not to help the junkie. If you want to help the junkie... you can't do anything until the junkie admits he is a junkie... and then sincerely wants help as he then takes responsibility for his situation, for his actions, for his behavior, for his denial and is ready to put in the work to get better.
Similarly, there is no way to help someone who feels that their every problem is because of someone else or something else. You cannot help someone that does not hold themselves accountable. You cannot help someone that feels everything is "beyond my control, and thats why i am in the spot i am in". You've done exactly what you wanted to do for over 10 years in this biz. You've targeted a very narrow niche because it was something you liked. You devoted yourself to producing, what by your own admission 10 years later (or more), is mediocre at best. You can't possibly pretend that you are just a super hard worker bent on being the best you can be.
At best, you did the bare minimum to get by all these years and now you are paying for it.
I don't know anyone that is a hard worker, that strives to be the best at what they do and that always goes above and beyond that has trouble finding work. I know plenty of affiliate reps that do a great job and have other programs offering them jobs all the time. If no one is beating down your door to snatch you up because you're a great talent.. then maybe you need to start asking "why do others see me as a bad investment"
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Yes, fewer illegal immigrants working equates to more job opportunities for American citizens.
Rochard
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