Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSquealer
I think this is a fascinating thing about human behavior. I have some rather unconventional beliefs on why we are what we are. But its interesting to note that someone can either live a miserable life or full filling life by just making a simple choice. .. by just looking at the same problem a little differently. Most people for a large variety of reasons won't. There are those who eventually will, no matter what horrible suffering they are going through. There are those who turn tragedy into that defining and trans formative moment in their life and those who will turn it into the thing that destroys their lives.
Everything is just a matter of perspective. Everything. That perspective can change in a heartbeat and a person can completely transform their life. It can be witnessing a single event, it can be hearing a lyric in a song, it can be reading a single sentence. A truth about how we perceive things as individuals is that there really is no good and bad.. there is only how we perceive things and what we CHOOSE to do with that information. A perfect example are phobias. An event happens. An irrational fear is developed. A person then goes through life being afraid of the wrong thing at the wrong time. How do people get over phobias? They eventually say "fuck this.. this is stupid, this is ruining my life" and more often than not, its as simple as that. A simple change in perspective and a simple change in how they start viewing that behavior. You had that moment... you learned from it. You began to place yourself at cause and you built the life you wanted. Others.... well.... we need ditch diggers too so its quite the conundrum.
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That is an interesting thought. When I look back at my life I have known and still know people from all over that spectrum. I have one friend that is so worried about making his wife happy that he does whatever she says. This includes them constantly moving to different places. They have lived in five different states in the last seven years and they wonder why they are always broke and he can never get a good paying job. He is never in a place long enough to work his way up the ladder. They have much more deep seeded issues, but at its core he is never able to establish himself and make decent money. Almost like clockwork as soon as he starts doing well at work, gets some raises and things get better for them, she wants to move so they pick up and go and start over again.
He is not resigned to barely getting by. The other day he said to me, "If I could just get a job making $11 per hour with regular 40 hour weeks I would be loving it."
I asked him how the hell he could pay for himself, his wife and two kids on $11 per hour and he told me that many of their bills are paid for by the church they go to and in exchange they do a lot of volunteer work for the church. So he is resigned to a life of barely getting by and puts up the front that he is happy with it, but when you get him alone all he talks about is wanting this thing and wanting to go to this place. All things he can't do because he can't afford it.
If he would sit his wife down and tell her they need to grow some roots so he can establish himself and make a better life for their family things would be different, but he will not do it. It is a crazy thing.