Originally Posted by SwirlsGirl

Hello pizza shop owner Mrs. Swirls

This is your middle man speaking to you.

I realize that you have hired me to work in the capacity of your cashier mrs swirls in your pizza shop.

I have worked 9 years on your cash register and have counted,collected, and paid you your monies collected from your pizza customers for 9 years.

I being the shameless parasitic chicken fucking parasite that I am have decided that I have to suspend all of your monies being paid out until you mrs swirls can satisfy my request.

Mrs Swirls as your pizza cashier I am now demanding that you and I get to know each other better!

I am demanding that you fork over the following personal details to me and I may just resume your payouts from your pizza customers.

Yes you heard me correct mrs swirls...I am your pizza shop cashier and I now wish to get to know you better.

I will need your birth certificate, your home utility bill, a government issued form of id, and all of these documents notarized on your dime and your time to be used for me the middle man to no longer have to be just a cashier in your pizza shop.

You see mrs swirls...I am going to use these documents to incorporate with you so that in essence I am no longer just your pizza cashier, but by legalise I am now incorporated as your partner.

Again this is your middle man speaking and as I said...I will not be paying you your monies that I collected from your customers from last week because Inow expect you to make me a partner.

Until you provide me the pizza cashier with the birth cert, and personal utility bill, and notarized identification I will not be turning over to you the money I collect from your pizza customers however I will do you the favor mrs swirls of still collecting pizza monies on your account.

You see mrs swirls thats the least I can do because I am an honorable ass hat I mean middle men, I mean chicken fucker.

You see I will still allow *YOUR* customers to spend money in your pizza shop, but you mrs swirls will not be allowed to receive your customers monies until I get to know you better, and until you make me a partner.

Now you might respond and say that cashier is smoking some wacky dacky shit...I say you are wrong...this is the very raw nerve and behavior and fucked up logic of some of these dastardly middle men that you all worship and salivate over.

SO there you have it no parody...no satire....my middle man has made me a partnership/business proposal...in the form of a request and I have to consider this business/partnership request while my middle man is deliberately holding my payouts for ransom.

Yeah its actually that cut and dry....and the sick part is there is no way i would believe that a middle man could make that *request* and take that action without first assuming that everyone in this industry is dumb as a box of fucking rocks.

WHat brave soul is going to accept a request by their cashier to be made a partner, and until you accept this request your cashier will hold your monies to give you time to think LOL

fire away and let us all hear how right and noble and valiant and fair the middle men are and why I am wrong for not accepting the reasonable and fair offer by the cheesy rat!