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jmcb420 · 01-13-2014, 05:37 PM

For the non-AVN audience, enjoy a few excerpts from a book I've written, due to be published in (hopefully) May of this year. My main character is almost always a loveable person who just happens to kill people, but I think this time around I've nailed it. It's a dark comedy, and the main character is both worthy of admiration and hatred. I like him, but I also hate him.
This will be my second published work, and hopefully will do better than my first. Provided I can get my wish, both will be released single bound, so the reader can have both at once.
I just really enjoy these parts... I really loved writing this character.
I'm off to drink myself into a blur. Have a good night, all.

I'm a well known local newscaster, and serial killer.
I'm a fraud.

______________

I kill everything I love.

_____________

Being a local celebrity has it's perks. One of them is people feel an instant sense of ease with me, no matter what.
For instance, I was just out getting the mail, and a lady walking her dog down the street saw me and struck up a conversation. The dog was barking and growling the whole time, and she just kept smiling and talking.
Are you an idiot? Listen to Rover. He knows.

_____________

Some people lack perspective, and it's a trait that I find to be abominably ignorant.
Really? You're going to tell me that I HAVE ISSUES, when you've been chained to the same wall without food for over a week? I have issues?
Maybe it's just me, but being able to walk around freely and open a refrigerator makes my issues pale in relation to yours....

___________________

Last night before bed I thought it would be nice to read her a few chapters of my favorite book. So I pulled up a chair and began to read. At first she seemed to enjoy it, but sometime around the end of chapter three I could see she wasn't enjoying it. So I asked her if there was something else she wanted me to read and she said "Please untie me and let me go."
Never heard of it, and can't find it on Google.

________________

Be careful if you decide to hit any of the local bars this week, I might slip some pretty heavy duty drugs in your drink of choice and it's lights out for you. They always ask me to get behind the bar and serve. They think I'm a novelty.
Think twice if you see me. Don't be fooled by my charisma and good looks. Of course you can trust me. Or can you?
You don't know. Of course you can trust me. Just look at my smile.

_____________

Really... if you knew how many times in my life I've been maced, you would spend less time fumbling around in your purse and more time running.
Every time I see someone reaching for it I'm all "lol, here it comes again."

___________

Sounds like my neighbors are murdering each other. Good. I'll call the cops after it's been quiet long enough that I'm sure one of them has bled out.

01-13-2014, 05:37 PM
jmcb420 So Fucking Drunk Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,155	Art imitates art. Excerpts from a book. For the non-AVN audience, enjoy a few excerpts from a book I've written, due to be published in (hopefully) May of this year. My main character is almost always a loveable person who just happens to kill people, but I think this time around I've nailed it. It's a dark comedy, and the main character is both worthy of admiration and hatred. I like him, but I also hate him. This will be my second published work, and hopefully will do better than my first. Provided I can get my wish, both will be released single bound, so the reader can have both at once. I just really enjoy these parts... I really loved writing this character. I'm off to drink myself into a blur. Have a good night, all. I'm a well known local newscaster, and serial killer. I'm a fraud. ______________ I kill everything I love. _____________ Being a local celebrity has it's perks. One of them is people feel an instant sense of ease with me, no matter what. For instance, I was just out getting the mail, and a lady walking her dog down the street saw me and struck up a conversation. The dog was barking and growling the whole time, and she just kept smiling and talking. Are you an idiot? Listen to Rover. He knows. _____________ Some people lack perspective, and it's a trait that I find to be abominably ignorant. Really? You're going to tell me that I HAVE ISSUES, when you've been chained to the same wall without food for over a week? I have issues? Maybe it's just me, but being able to walk around freely and open a refrigerator makes my issues pale in relation to yours.... ___________________ Last night before bed I thought it would be nice to read her a few chapters of my favorite book. So I pulled up a chair and began to read. At first she seemed to enjoy it, but sometime around the end of chapter three I could see she wasn't enjoying it. So I asked her if there was something else she wanted me to read and she said "Please untie me and let me go." Never heard of it, and can't find it on Google. ________________ Be careful if you decide to hit any of the local bars this week, I might slip some pretty heavy duty drugs in your drink of choice and it's lights out for you. They always ask me to get behind the bar and serve. They think I'm a novelty. Think twice if you see me. Don't be fooled by my charisma and good looks. Of course you can trust me. Or can you? You don't know. Of course you can trust me. Just look at my smile. _____________ Really... if you knew how many times in my life I've been maced, you would spend less time fumbling around in your purse and more time running. Every time I see someone reaching for it I'm all "lol, here it comes again." ___________ Sounds like my neighbors are murdering each other. Good. I'll call the cops after it's been quiet long enough that I'm sure one of them has bled out. __________________ I'm funner than AIDS, and easier to explain to your parents.