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This is a very common story in adult. Small paysite owners and/or content producers want a piece of the pie they see, and either desperately offer 50% revshare on ccbill to affiliates who are used to receiving $40+ for a paysite trial, or try to compete with dating companies who are used to working with a $150+ cpa. It's not worth trying to chase that business.
You're going to have to be creative to get joins to your paysite. If you want to buy traffic from the popular sources, you have to keep in mind that everyone is pushing dating sites that convert better than you, and pay 3x your cpa.
If shooting content is your forte, I'd focus on shooting for tubes and get a steady clip upload regiment going.
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