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Old 07-13-2014, 12:51 PM  
eipstudios
So Fucking Banned
 
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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White Lady Drives Mercedes to Pick Up Food Stamps; Chaos Ensues



Darlena Cunha had it so good in 2008 for a white woman from an affluent suburb with a college degree: She and her husband earned $120k, twins on the way, a house worth $250k. Then the market crashed, husband lost his (journalism) job, and the preemies needed costly formula. Their solid middle class income now clocked in at $25k, so they turned to WIC.

However, they did not immediately sell one thing that everyone on the Internet seems to think they should have: A 2003 Mercedes.

To be clear, Cunha's story is not an uncommon one from the past several years, as we watched as more and more middle class folks lean on government assistance to buoy them through the bleak economy. Those high numbers eventually were said to have led to a decrease in the stigma surrounding government assistance.

But in 2008, that was still not the case, and Cunha's story is one person's account of being a middle class person suddenly navigating the world as something she never imagined she could be: poor. She hated "the stares, the faux concern, the pity" and, especially, being told what she should and shouldn't buy.

But it was nothing compared to the grief she took for still owning a 2003 Mercedes, a car that, even old and paid off and showing the signs of wear and tear, still telegraphs affluence to most people, and that cannot coexist with government assistance.

But the thing was, Cunha insists, the Mercedes was paid off. It belonged to her husband, and we are not told why or how he purchased in the first place (He was a copy editor at a newspaper), and I for one am glad she didn't explain it. Because fuck the haters. Cunha gets one essential aspect of poverty right, even if she learned it in reverse. You keep what little nice shit you had or can get your hands on, because it is a buffer against the deprivation. Most people never get the nice stuff in the first place.

Here's an idea: Let's get Fred Smith to host a TV show called "How Sympathetic Is My Situation?" and on it, we will parade down-on-their-luck people in front of millions to lay out and justify their choices, mistakes and circumstances for us, so that we can all collectively decide for one and for all how much sympathy a person should get. The winner would be given free help but only while simultaneously being berated.

So nevermind the logic of keeping the car or not, like so many people temporarily in poverty or permanently there, Darlena Cunha is guilty of too much pride. Well, and also having something nicer than most people anyway.

And that is the insidious and damaging expectation about poverty we can't shed. Those in poverty should feel so ashamed and humbled by their lack of things that they dare not even want for nice stuff, and especially dare not hold onto it. You can take care of yourself, but not too much. You should clean yourself and look presentable, but you can't buy brand name clothing that is associated with rich people. You should want for nice things, but be honest ? you're poor, you don't get an iPhone, you get a Cricket phone.

In other words, we want you to look poor if we are going to help you, whatever poor means to us. Make us feel bad for you. C'mon. Nevermind that people of means blow their money on objects and experiences well beyond their actual income and have the luxury of hiding behind debt, but there is somehow the sense that if we can't see the shell game going on behind it, you have earned the right to present yourself as better off than you are whether it's true or not.

When I lived in Section 8 housing, many neighbors complained of the people in the corner apartment who were rumored to pay only $12 a month for their rent, but still managed to have a super sweet big TV. The nerve! The gall! The con!

It has never confused me in the slightest why poor people want nice things, because it the same reason rich people want them. BECAUSE THEY ARE NICE.

Is there a formula for being deserving of nice things? Do you actually believe that everyone who is rich earned their wealth, or have you just been confused by an invisible system of networks, bridges, opportunity, hand-holding, inheritances, staggering debt, and even outright criminality in some cases behind it?

Darlene Cunha had every right to hold onto an asset, or the one nice thing she had left. We all would like to believe we are minimalist warriors who need for nothing in excess and would cut the fat the second we saw trouble coming, but if that were the case, we wouldn't have an average of $15k per family in credit card debt in this country. We'd all be living like Dave Ramsey, only buying cars in cash, and earmarking every dollar.

But we don't, because we are hypocrites. If you are living directly within your means, you are the exception. It is far more likely that your car is more than you can afford, so is your house, so are your clothes, and so is your grocery bill. You have no sense of real job security, and it could all go to pot in a heartbeat, and if it did, through the fog of depression, worry, and uncertainty about your future, you too might hold onto the one nice thing you had left, and that choice might even be laced with a little optimism that it was a symbol of better times still to come.

Cunha says she learned a huge lesson from her experience about poverty, and it's one we should all take to heart: We didn't deserve to be poor, any more than we deserved to be rich. Poverty is a circumstance, not a value judgment.

So if you ever find yourself questioning a poor person with a cellphone, or a lady on food stamps still getting her hair done ? also a criticism lobbed at Katrina Gilbert, a poor single mother in Chattanooga who did all the right things and still struggled to get by ? then consider that perhaps the person with the fucked up value system is you.
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